This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize