Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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