Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
