oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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