How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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