I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
