help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
