Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
