You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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