I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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