I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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