Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize