so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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