Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
