you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
bring money and cleavage
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
