I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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