also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
