I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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