So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
