She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
