we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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