I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
