Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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