he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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