Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
