if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize