Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
