What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
