I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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