And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
