id be glad to
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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