why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
