She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
