Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
