About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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