i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
soo... how was my night?
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