No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
