How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
