Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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