thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
