are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
