elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
