he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
