I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize