So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
