We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
