He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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