Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
