last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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