she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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