don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
