Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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