she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This is the high leading the old right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
