So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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