how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
