That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
