Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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