Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
