the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
