You really coming over, don't trick.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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