need another drink. this is the easiest way
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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