he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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