sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
