i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i can't believe i had my finger in that
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
