yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
