I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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