apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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