you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
