she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
