i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
