Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
