Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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