I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
